The Importance of Physical Touch in Relationships
When we first get together with our partner, it’s a magical time. There is a passion and fire that is undeniable. You can’t keep your hands off each other. When you touch or receive physical touch in relationships, it sends shivers along your body. It’s electric. It makes us feel whole.
Over time, work, families, or other obligations demand so much of your time and energy. This can make it harder to put aside the time for intimacy and touch. There is no question that you still love your partner, but without touch, we may inadvertently be sending the wrong signals.
Why Do You Need Physical Touch in Relationships?
When we don’t make time for physical intimacy, our relationships suffer. Our brains are wired for physical and emotional connection. We need to touch and be touched. It’s soothing. It signals love, safety, trust, assurance, gratitude, and compassion. It calms our cardiovascular system, activates our social and compassion responses, releases hormones and neurotransmitters needed for bonding, and reinforces cooperation and reciprocity.
Lack of Touch Can Result in Disconnection
Here is the thing, we need physical touch in relationships. When we stop giving or receiving touch from our partners, it creates more disconnection in our relationships. It messes with our mood. You’ve probably noticed feeling anxious or depressed when you’re feeling disconnected. Maybe you’ve felt less confident navigating this chaotic world. Maybe your self-worth has taken a dive.
Disconnection can even have negative impacts on your physical health like elevating your blood pressure and weakening your immune system. There are steps you can take to help change the tide and bring you and your partner closer. Luckily the answer is, quite literally, already inside of you.
Getting “Hands-On” In Your Relationship
Oxytocin is a hormone in our bodies that is connected to prosocial behavior - it’s part of what makes relationships possible. They help create social and relational bonds, creates an attachment between parents and children, and can help mediate the effects of stress, anxiety, and depression.
Oxytocin floods our brains when we fall in love, when we have sex, and when we touch or receive touch. If you’ve put your relationship on the back burner and are looking to light the fire again, this is what you should know:
Touch each other multiple times every day. There isn’t a magic number, but the more you do it the better. This includes hugging, kissing, cuddling, holding hands, back rubs, and sex.
Any type of touch is beneficial, but applying some kind of pressure (like with massages) is extra beneficial. Touch can be a small but important gesture in relationships. It’s a type of non-verbal communication that expresses our fondness, desire, appreciation, and need for our partners.
The great thing about touch is that there’s a lot of ways to do it, it’s free, and you can do some form of it anywhere. You can look for little moments like touching your partner’s back while you’re cooking dinner, adding an embrace as you kiss your partner goodbye, or rub your partner’s shoulder after you put the kids to sleep.
While it may not sound super sexy, you can also schedule a time for physical intimacy (sexual or non-sexual). It says to your partner that the relationship is a priority and nothing is going to stop us from reconnecting.
Touch is different for everyone considering trauma histories, cultural factors, and individual preferences. Make sure you find what works for your relationship. Be intentional about why you’re touching your partner. This isn’t supposed to be a chore or a numbers game. It’s supposed to be fun!
While these suggestions are helpful for relationships, they are no substitute for marriage counseling and couples therapy. Touch is an important part of bringing the passion back, but if there are relationship wounds that haven’t quite healed then it’s time to see a couples therapist like me, who’s trained in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy. I can help you and your partner start the healing process and bring back the passion.
Learn More About Physical Touch in Relationships in Kansas Today!
Relationships are full of learning experiences. Begin to understand your partner better from an emotion-focused and attachment perspective. Learn about your love language and how touch can say a lot about how you connect. Our Leavenworth and Overland Park locations have caring couples therapists who specialize in marriage counseling and couples therapy. To schedule a FREE phone consultation or set up an appointment with one of the JS Therapy Group mental health professionals, please visit jstherapygroup.com or contact us at referrals@jstherapygroup.com // (913) 565-2131. If you’re looking to begin therapy in Overland Park, KS, Leavenworth, KS, or anywhere in the state of Kansas, then follow these simple steps:
Contact JS Therapy Group and schedule a free consultation,
Meet with one of our skilled couples therapists
Start learning valuable ways to provide mental health support in Kansas today!
Other Counseling Services at JS Therapy Group
Marriage counseling and couple therapy is not the only service we offer in our Leavenworth, KS, and Overland Park, KS counseling centers. Other mental health services JS Therapy Group provides include anxiety treatment, therapy for children and play therapy, trauma and PTSD treatment, addictions counseling, trauma and PTSD treatment for children, premarital counseling, family therapy, depression treatment, affordable and reduced therapy, and marriage counseling and couples therapy, workshops, classes, and groups. Our groups include our Building a Lasting Connection class and our Hold Me Tight workshop. We also offer professional consultations and supervision opportunities. If you can’t make it to see one of our skilled therapists for in-person therapy, consider online therapy in Kansas to receive mental health support. Contact us to get started or click on one of the links to learn more. Begin therapy today with JS Therapy group.
